Friday, September 12, 2008


Brad Kelly, a private investigator who has spied on thousands of cheating spouses, says its not just men who sneak around on their spouses.
Kelly has busted everyone, from a newlywed to a man who has been married for 35 years, 10TV's Maureen Kocot reported.
According to Kelly, when suspicious spouses see the proof caught on videotape, they always ask the same question, "Why?"
"A lot of it, they're saying they don't get enough attention at home - the spouse is not talking to them anymore - and they're constantly finding ways to be out of the house," Kelly said.
Marriage counselors warn that relationships can diminish as gradually as grains of sans through an hourglass, Kocot reported.
"We often give our marriages the leftovers in life," said Robert Mathis, a counselor. "We give it a quick weekend here or there if we're lucky."
Mathis calls it the "closeness distance dance." The more distance that takes place in the marriage, the more likely a partner will turn to an outsider to fill the emotional void.
"It takes two people to do that dance, not just one," Mathis said.
Kelly said that there are signs of a cheating spouse. Either their sex life has dwindled or their spouse is never home.
"By the time they come to us, the suspicion is so great that they know they just need to see it," Kelly said.
Another red flag for suspicious spouses is an excuse to slip away on the holidays, especially Christmas and New Year's.
For a reality check to find out where spouses are in the closeness distance dance," counselors suggest taking a week's vacation alone to find out very quickly how much conversation takes place.

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