Friday, September 26, 2008

Lonely Hearts Cheat Wanted a Refund

A cheating husband told a court he was £3,000 out of pocket after his “lonely hearts” affair and wanted it back.

Married Geoffrey Fitch, 60, said he showered Gillian Mitchell, 53, with jewellery, took her to the theatre and on trips abroad.

He claimed she then cheated on him. But he was refused his claim for a refund by a judge at Lewes County Court who told him: “It’s easy to be wise with hindsight.”

Health and safety consultant Fitch had a two-year fling with the divorced mother of three but two weeks after they started living together it ended with Fitch accusing Mrs Mitchell of cheating.

Mr Fitch told the court: “If Mrs Mitchell was struggling to make ends meet I would not be demanding money she promised to repay.

“However, I am not prepared to be out of pocket while numerous other men are enjoying her affections.

“While we were together she continued to visit websites Girlsdateforfree, Loopylove and Friends Reunited Dating.

“I do not see why I should pay Mrs Mitchell’s bills while she is spreading her affections around.”

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Meg Ryan Opens Up About Infidelity

Meg Ryan doesn't want to be your sweetheart anymore. After eight years of silence, the blonde actress candidly opens up to In Style magazine and dispels the myths about her celebrity marriage to Dennis Quaid, their shocking divorce, and being labeled "America's Sweetheart."

After eight years of keeping quiet, she divulges what the public never knew about her life with Quaid and confesses to some of the deep issues that broke up what seemed to the world to be the perfect Hollywood marriage. "Dennis was not faithful to me for a very long time, and that was very painful. I found out more about that after I was divorced."

In the aftermath of her divorce and the public outcry over her affair with actor Russell Crowe, the actresss opted for some time out of the spotlight to recover from her wounds and to find her footing again. Her film roles have been sparse as has her time in the public eye, and Ryan admits she has liked it that way.

Ryan says that her being dubbed "America's Sweetheart" more than 20 years ago was frustrating and stifling at times. "It's an old-fashioned idea, so anachronistic. I understood it was a compliment about being lovable, and it felt nice ... but it also felt, after a time, like ideas were being projected onto me that had nothing to do with me. The girl next door to what? I never felt like a very conventional person," she confides to the magazine.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

How Our Brains Keep Us From Straying

In the pursuit of happily-ever-after, the odds seem to be stacked against us.

Men and women reap huge benefits when they stick around with a good partner -- staying happier and healthier, living longer and passing along more genes. But the sticking-around part is a challenge. We don't get long-term relationship payoffs right away. And until then -- between the once-upon-a-time and the happily-ever-after -- plenty of temptations can beckon.

Not that it's wrong to shop around before settling down. But there always will be enticing alternative mates -- whether heart-grabbing or merely eye-catching. So researchers wonder: With so many attractive alternatives, how do humans manage to maintain relationships at all?

The brain appears to have some tricks up its neural sleeve. A new line of research is exploring how automatic psychological mechanisms kick into action when the eye starts to wander, helping resist temptation and strengthening the relationship -- even without us being aware of it.

Here's a sample from some recently published experiments (all on heterosexual men and women in committed monogamous relationships) that show how our brain keeps us connected to -- and, yes, even happy with -- the old ball and chain.

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Friday, September 12, 2008


Brad Kelly, a private investigator who has spied on thousands of cheating spouses, says its not just men who sneak around on their spouses.
Kelly has busted everyone, from a newlywed to a man who has been married for 35 years, 10TV's Maureen Kocot reported.
According to Kelly, when suspicious spouses see the proof caught on videotape, they always ask the same question, "Why?"
"A lot of it, they're saying they don't get enough attention at home - the spouse is not talking to them anymore - and they're constantly finding ways to be out of the house," Kelly said.
Marriage counselors warn that relationships can diminish as gradually as grains of sans through an hourglass, Kocot reported.
"We often give our marriages the leftovers in life," said Robert Mathis, a counselor. "We give it a quick weekend here or there if we're lucky."
Mathis calls it the "closeness distance dance." The more distance that takes place in the marriage, the more likely a partner will turn to an outsider to fill the emotional void.
"It takes two people to do that dance, not just one," Mathis said.
Kelly said that there are signs of a cheating spouse. Either their sex life has dwindled or their spouse is never home.
"By the time they come to us, the suspicion is so great that they know they just need to see it," Kelly said.
Another red flag for suspicious spouses is an excuse to slip away on the holidays, especially Christmas and New Year's.
For a reality check to find out where spouses are in the closeness distance dance," counselors suggest taking a week's vacation alone to find out very quickly how much conversation takes place.

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Monday, September 8, 2008


Men are more likely to be devoted and loyal husbands when they lack a particular variant of a gene that influences brain activity, researchers reported this week.

The finding is striking because it not only links the gene variant, or allele, with the risk of marital discord and divorce, but also appears to predict whether women involved with these men are likely to say their partners are emotionally close and available, or distant and disagreeable, according to the study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Two of every five men carry the allele, according to the report.

"Men with two copies of the allele had twice the risk of experiencing marital dysfunction, with a threat of divorce during the last year, compared to men carrying one or no copies," said Hasse Walum, a behavioral geneticist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, who led the study.

"Women married to men with one or two copies of the allele scored lower on average on how satisfied they were with the relationship compared to women married to men with no copies."

About 15% of the men without the allele reported serious marital discord in the past year, compared with 34% of men with two copies of the allele. The allele that Walum and a team of scientists studied in a sample of more than 1,000 heterosexual couples regulates the activity of a hormone in the brain known as vasopressin. It dictates how and where vasopressin receptors are situated in the brain.

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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Japan's New Professional Seducers

Case 1: Mr A and Kyoko

3.30pm. Mr A is outside a bank in a busy part of Ikebukuro, a faintly seedy area of Tokyo, waiting for his date. He beams as she teeters across the road on high heels. Kyoko, 20, is half his age. She has a mane of black hair, sloe eyes, a fetching smile and a cute giggle. Her blouse is open to reveal her cleavage and she has on a short skirt and sheer black tights. Mr A is a bald 40-year-old salesman in a crumpled grey suit and glasses.

Mr A met Kyoko by chance in the street; the first time she asked him for directions, then they bumped into each other again, and since then they have been exchanging flirtatious texts.

They stop off at a cigarette machine, then go to a cheap basement restaurant for spaghetti. He has bought her moisturiser and cleanser. She giggles coyly: “Next time, why don’t you give me a ring?” At 4.30 they’re outside a pawnbroker’s, looking at rings. Their shoulders touch, then they reach for each other’s hands.

They head for north Ikebukuro, an area of love hotels with velvet-covered walls, mirrored ceilings and sexy videos that rent rooms for two-hour periods. At 4.45 they go into one. They take a picture of the two of them on her mobile. At 6.07 they leave. At the station Mr A gives Kyoko a furtive goodbye kiss. Next time, he says, he’ll take her somewhere nice – a hot-spring resort maybe, or Tokyo Disneyland. Then he goes back to the office and, later, home to his wife.

Mr A doesn’t know that a team of private investigators is recording his every move. The boss, the ebullient Mr Tomiya, lurks behind a lamppost on the other side of the road and takes photographs as Kyoko meets Mr A. Tomiya’s equipment includes a packet of cigarettes and a pen, both of which are actually cameras. Shimizu, a heavy-set man with a bullet head and cropped hair, carries a black bag. It contains a camera with which he films continuously through a tiny hole in the bag. A third man acts as a lookout. They follow the couple down the street, dodging the crowds and sprinting across red lights, keeping far enough behind so as not to arouse suspicion but close enough so that Shimizu can film.

Mr A, who has been married for 20 years and has a son of 19 at university, is prone to violence and beats his wife. She confided in a male friend, whom she then fell for, but when she suggested divorce to Mr A, he simply hit her. In desperation she turned to the internet, where she found Tomiya and his company, GNC.

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