Thursday, May 31, 2007
The realization of infidelity brings on a number of truly horrible feelings. But the mere suspicion of a lover cheating can feel nearly as bad. Before one can “move on” they must find the truth. There are a number of signs — for those willing to enter that web — that can help locate the truth. A seasoned investigator claims to have the easiest and most affordable route to discovery.
“Some people just don’t want to know,” says infidelity investigator Mark McAlpin of Cellulartrace.com. “Others just don’t know how. We can’t help the former.”
But for those who are willing to find the truth, he says it isn’t that difficult. The information is generally available, he says, if you enter the suspected party’s head.
“Sometimes you have to enter their mind — really think like a cheater.”"
'Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family,' said Pittman, one of more than 200 speakers at the three-day conference at the Marriott Marquis. 'It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty,' he says."
Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman, an Atlanta psychiatrist for more than four decades, says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers:
1. Stay faithful yourself: If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge.
2. Don't marry a cheater: If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else.
3. Normalize lust: It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by."
According to statistics, up to 85% of women and up to 50% of men who believe that their lover is cheating are proven to be right eventually. This means that if you have any suspicions about your partner’s fidelity, you should consider doing something about it now. Unfortunately, your suspicions may be well-founded.
The first step: find out for sure
One of the best ways to find out the truth is to hire a private investigator. Private investigators have a wide range of surveillance techniques and equipment available to them that can help them find out the truth and can help bring you proof one way or the other. A private investigator is licensed to use e-mail tracing techniques, telephone number tracing, Internet activity tracking options and surveillance. An investigator can let you know if your spouse or lover is cheating and can provide details of infidelity.
If you find out the worst
If you have in fact found out that your significant other has cheated on you, your initial reaction may be one of rage or great sadness. It’s not unusual, when betrayed, for motions to take a bit of a roller coaster ride. A professional investigator can help you through discretion and sensitivity. Once you know the truth, though, you have some real-life decisions to make."
Satina Shumake never thought her fiancé would cheat. He loved cuddling, dinner dates, TV nights and attending family gatherings. He was so predictable she could almost set her watch by his schedule.
Without warning, his habits changed. He became quiet and was absent for long, unexplained periods of time. Instead of storing condoms in a dresser drawer, like he would do normally, he carried them in his workbag."