Suspicions of infidelity worth acting on

Studies indicate that suspicions about partners having an affair turn out to be right 90 per cent of the time, says Dr Raj Persaud, a consultant psychiatrist at London's Maudsley Hospital.

It's a frightening statistic. But before you rush out and hire a detective or challenge your partner head-on, you should first be sure whether your suspicions are reasonable or just the imaginings of very jealous mind.

What you shouldn't do is let your suspicions take over your life, nor ignore them and hope they'll go away.

Helene, a British expatriate living in Hong Kong, did the latter, choosing to ignore suspicions about her husband Jon.

"Of course, the signs seem obvious looking back," she says. "Business calls on the mobile at all hours, regular business trips overseas even over weekends, a sudden interest in hair products ..."

6 ways to prevent affairs

Today's advice: 6 ways to prevent affairs | ajc.com: "Therapist Dr. Frank Pittman believes virtually all cheaters deeply regret straying.

'Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family,' said Pittman, one of more than 200 speakers at the three-day conference at the Marriott Marquis. 'It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty,' he says."

Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman, an Atlanta psychiatrist for more than four decades, says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers:

1. Stay faithful yourself: If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge.

2. Don't marry a cheater: If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else.

3. Normalize lust: It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by."

Can your relationship survive an affair?

Investigation News - Can your relationship survive an affair? - PInow.com Investigator Directory: "What to do if you think your lover is cheating

According to statistics, up to 85% of women and up to 50% of men who believe that their lover is cheating are proven to be right eventually. This means that if you have any suspicions about your partner’s fidelity, you should consider doing something about it now. Unfortunately, your suspicions may be well-founded.

The first step: find out for sure

One of the best ways to find out the truth is to hire a private investigator. Private investigators have a wide range of surveillance techniques and equipment available to them that can help them find out the truth and can help bring you proof one way or the other. A private investigator is licensed to use e-mail tracing techniques, telephone number tracing, Internet activity tracking options and surveillance. An investigator can let you know if your spouse or lover is cheating and can provide details of infidelity.

If you find out the worst

If you have in fact found out that your significant other has cheated on you, your initial reaction may be one of rage or great sadness. It’s not unusual, when betrayed, for motions to take a bit of a roller coaster ride. A professional investigator can help you through discretion and sensitivity. Once you know the truth, though, you have some real-life decisions to make."